ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
