Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
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