I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
