If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
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Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
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what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
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