Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Randomize
