Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
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