So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
