You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Randomize
