Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Randomize
