The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Randomize
