How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
Randomize
