She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
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