Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
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