: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
