I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
