i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
I am available for nakedness
Randomize
