I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Randomize
