It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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