you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
it's not cheating when I paid for it
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
Randomize
