??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
I am mentally ready for anal.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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