his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Randomize
