I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
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