I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
