Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Randomize