also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
