the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
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