I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
