you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Randomize
