So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
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Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
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I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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