just tell him i said nine months
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
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