May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
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