Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
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