dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
