She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Randomize
