Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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