my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize
