I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
i want to fuck
it's pretty self explanatory
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick