a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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