Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
19 People That Found Pubes In All The Wrong Places
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
These 21 People Came Up With Hilarious Excuses For Their Hickies
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.