I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Holy sore nipples Batman
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
Randomize
