Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
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