Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
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