Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
