why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
Randomize