white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
