idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
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He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
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I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
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