So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
21 People Confess What It’s Really Like At An Orgy
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
These 15 Honest Illustrations Show What Women Do When No One Is Watching
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look