We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
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