Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.