I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.