she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
