new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
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