So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Randomize
