I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
