Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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