More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
