Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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