Screwed.edu
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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