Got a toothbrush?
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
