Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
