the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
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