Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
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