JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
