Bisexual people are plain selfish.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Randomize
